I considered asking someone who was a member of the LGBTQ+ community to write this post because they have first hand experiences that I don't have. Ultimately, I decided in doing so, I would be shirking my responsibilities as an ally, and I want to be clear that I am an ally.
From the time I can remember, I've liked boys. I chased a boy around in kindergarten. I accepted drawings from another kindergarten classmate, and my kindergarten yearbook is falling apart because at five or six years old, my crush on a third different classmate was real enough that I looked at that yearbook regularly. Once I get past laughing at how much of a player I was as a kid, one thing is clear to me. I am straight. My gender and sexuality aren't any more of a choice to me than my eye color or my height.
When I was a junior in college, Brokeback Mountain was released. A friend of mine asked that I read the book before I go see the movie with him. It was a very short read, and the only way to have a good friend is to be one. After at least a year of defending me in class and dutifully blocking an ex from sitting next to me, I could read a book and watch a movie. I remember thinking both the book and the movie were very good. I didn't entirely understand why my friend sobbed so hard through the ending. I teared up, but it didn't elicit the same visceral reaction in me. The Notebook was popular around the same time, and that also didn't provoke much of a response from me other than wondering why James Marsden was never the guy who got picked. To be honest, I didn't think much about Brokeback Mountain until Oscar season rolled around in the winter. When it didn't win best picture, I was with the friend whom I saw the movie with, and he was just devastated. Because I was ignorant and straight, I didn't understand his reaction. Eventually, my friend asked me how many movies or television shows I watched that had a straight blonde woman in one of the lead roles. Many. I've seen many, but he didn't have that privilege. More often that not at the time, gay male characters were relegated to being a comedic and overly flamboyant friend who played into the stereotypes. That's when it clicked for me that his tears, sadness, and anger weren't just over the movie itself but what it symbolized.
Over the years, I've had multiple people in my life come out as a member of the LGTBQ+ community. In most cases, their nerves and fear of my response felt tangible and my heart broke for all of them. I knew their fear of my response stemmed from someone else's less than supportive reaction. I felt traumatized every time I brought home a boyfriend, so there is just no way I will ever understand the added layer of turmoil that bringing home a partner of the same gender will cause. Likewise, I will never understand what it feels like to be hated for who I love or how I identify myself.
I will also never understand what it's like to hate an entire group of people. I attended a Catholic elementary school and was raised in a Catholic family, but it has never felt like I needed to choose between Catholicism and being kind to people. In fact, the part of Catholicism that is most understandable to me is that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated. For people to use religion as a reason to hate someone is mind boggling to me, and I'm not going to attempt to justify it because there truly isn't a justification for hating an entire group of people ever. We know depression and anxiety are rising in teenagers. We also know that teenagers who belong to the LGTBQ+ community are even more likely to consider suicide or attempt it. Simply put, they are a vulnerable group for so many reasons, and it's dangerous and irresponsible to look away or ignore it because it makes you uncomfortable.
I don't really scream or yell despite the fact that I do have a booming voice. Anyone who has taught for more than a day knows that the second you start screaming is the same second you have lost control of the ship and just admitted defeat, and I'm not willing to admit defeat on any issue of this level of importance.
I want people to know that I'm not looking away or not taking a stance.
I'm an ally.
"We all know now. We all got crowns."
*If you absolutely feel the need to post something hateful, please just message it to me instead of putting it in the comments. For those of you who are allies, please like, comment or share this post. I think it's important for people to see they have allies and friends everywhere.
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