Let me be very clear on two things. First, I struggled with writing this entry. I don't particularly want to argue with internet trolls who will claim to know my beliefs or background, but right now, I am far more concerned with what happens if I don't write this post. In a powerful speech about the perils and seductiveness of indifference, Holocaust survivor, Elie Wiesel, astutely points out that indifference always benefits the aggressor and not the victim.. Second, if you're here to read my personal thoughts on abortion, you are about to be insanely disappointed. The reversal of Roe vs. Wade has very little to do with saving lives. If we were actually a country that cared about saving lives, everyone would have access to the best healthcare and the best education. If we cared about saving lives, we would raise the minimum wage and make it possible to get a college education without being in debt until you’re 40 years old. If we cared about saving lives, we would have listened better about protecting ourselves and others from COVID. If we cared about saving lives, we wouldn’t hate or fear people who look differently or love differently than we do. Finally, if we cared about saving lives, we would have done something about this country’s school shooting epidemic rather than simply offering thoughts and prayers. If you think this decision is about protecting an unborn life, you’re missing the very real point that we seem to really lack in caring about that life after birth and we're proving that right now by stripping women of body autonomy.
Like too many things in life, the verdict of Roe vs. Wade is about power: who has it, who wants it, and who can disguise their agenda better. I wish I was shocked by this decision, but I’m simply not. Did anyone really think a country which has primarily been patriarchal in nature would respond well to a woman VP, a woman candidate for president, more women graduating from college than men, and more women in traditionally male dominated fields? Despite the fact that women still earn less than men and have a small fraction of the leadership positions men do, we somehow triggered the panic button as we talked about glass ceilings being shattered. Well, the glass ceiling just got a new cement roof with that verdict. The Supreme Court just sent a very clear message to women, and as far as I’m concerned, the message declares war. Women just got told, “Sit back down. We have control over your body, your life, your choices.” If that doesn’t make you feel fear as a woman, it should. It should worry every person in this country. What happens when your rights are next? Surely, history has taught us that we are standing on a slippery slope.
For as much fear as I feel right now, I feel anger more than anything. I’m well aware of what role society has assigned to me and what I’m expected to do. Truly, I know my late teens and early 20s would have been far kinder to me if I was just willing to sit still and look pretty. Many of the breakups I had in those years came as a result of me knowing I deserved better. While downplaying my own intelligence, wit, and appearance, I was also put in a position where I had to be forgiving because "boys will be boys." I took the "cool girl" costume out for a spin and died on the inside when I attempted to the play the part. Every time I dulled myself down for a male in any setting, I not only let myself and my parents down, I failed every woman who came before me and stood her ground. It has been a very long time since I was willing to diminish myself for someone else’s sake. I don’t want to stand by and watch other young women do it to themselves. If you do it often enough, it leaves scars that aren’t visible to the eye.
Prior to the reversal of Roe vs. Wade, we already lived in a society that lacked empathy when it came to discussing women and reproduction. I have lost track of the amount of times I have been asked when I will have kids. If I can shift the topic away from the question, I will. If the other party will not take their foot off of the gas, I will eventually ask, "Do you have to take viagra?" or "Is your husband taking viagra?" If my ovaries are on the table for discussion, we might as well discuss other body parts. It shuts the conversation down almost immediately. I know my own medical history. I also know how many of my friends have struggled with miscarriages and fertility. You cannot ask people if they're trying to have kids because you have no idea what that couple has already been through, and quite frankly, they don't owe anyone an answer.
It would be very easy for me to say that the reversal of Roe vs. Wade doesn’t really impact me and go about living my life. If the Supreme Court showed up at my door and tried to order my body to have a child, my body would not cooperate. I don’t feel the need to elaborate more on that last sentence because my medical history and I deserve some privacy. I will say the irony of my body being as stubborn as my personality is absolutely not lost on me.
With all of that said, I won’t walk away from this fight because I don’t want to help hold the door open for infringements on women’s autonomy. I don’t want to subject women to choices that I have no right making for them, and I certainly don’t want to give back the ground that women have been fighting to gain for a very long time. I don’t need to wait a few months to see the data on the rise of the number of women who die from suicide, back alley abortions, and domestic abuse. Trust me. The numbers will be there because people are reckless when they feel hopeless, defeated, and scared, and this decision isn't going to deter people from seeking out an abortion any more than thoughts and prayers deterred school shootings. We aren't saving lives. We're making it more difficult for women to get out of abusive relationships and poverty.
This verdict is not about morality or ethics which are both very subjective by the way. This verdict is a witch hunt. And if you’re a woman, regardless of if you’re pro birth, pro life or pro choice, or even an ally to women, I regret to inform you that you are a witch, and some gasoline just got tossed on the fire that has always been burning around our feet.
It’s time for women to fight. If we can agree to protect other women’s rights even if they don’t align with our personal belief systems, we will win the fight. This world is obsessed with pitting women against each other, and we simply don’t have the luxury of allowing it anymore. I'm begging everyone not to politicize this issue. Quite honestly, I don't particularly like either political party at the moment, and it's concerning to me that I very well may be smarter than many of the people making decisions right now. I'm smart, but I'm not a genius.
I am begging you to fight for women's rights. It is the only way forward right now.
“Come, we fly.”